IN BETWEEN

An image from dried Iris leaves, part of a series I did while in grad school at UCLA.

I wanted to post a piece of my art from the past to illustrate my “in between” state that I am currently in: the center egg, about to give birth, nestled in the colorful foliage, being nurtured and protected.

This is how I feel after coming home from my last conference, well for that matter, all of the conferences I have attended in the last three years.  I am nurtured by all the generous writing professionals I am privileged to spend time with, by their advice and their encouragement.  Thanks to all of you.

I am protected by nature and nurtured by my husband and my animals in this wonderful place I call home.  This little piece of land in Leaf River, Illinois.  This beauty that I am lucky to wake up to each morning.

I am in between because of all the changes that are taking place and will take place as a result of my experience at the conferences, and for that matter, with any of the wonderful members of the writing community that I can now say I am a part of.  My life is rich and full.

This is kinda strange for me to be writing this, because yesterday, I hit a wall.  The ultimate fear.  That my work will never be done.  Never be good enough–at least for me.  I went to sleep and woke up realizing that it was okay.  I’ll send it off anyway, and continue to work, to make it better.

I read a blog today about a writer waiting for an agent to respond, the torture, the development of patience, or else madness.  I get this.  I used to be this way in my younger days.  But now, with 62 years of experience, years I am proud to have survived, I think it is different for me.  I actually sent off some pages to an editor months ago, and then promptly forgot that I had, too busy editing, over and over again, starting another book, a YA.  But now, I need to get organized because I will see that agent again next week at a conference in Evanston.  I need to take care of business.

That is the struggle being in this create profession.  We need to be creative, but it is also a profession.  We need to take care of business.  Achieving balance is the challenge.  Especially when I feel like a school kid, learning all kinds of new skills, Twitter, Gravatar, Scrivener.  I know I should be doing links to all of these for anyone who might be reading this blog, but that will have to wait for another post.  I need to get back to finishing the edit to my first 100 pages, well to the entire manuscript for that matter.  It is begging to be sent off, to start its own life out in the world of readers.  It is time.

I’ll work on balance some more tomorrow.