Never Enough Time

"Whirlpool" by Shutinc - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons

“Whirlpool” by Shutinc – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons

l’m intrigued with Jane Friedman’s recent post about her work ethic, using the concept of privilege to explain her productivity. It made me question my own time management skills.

Balancing my personal life and my creative endeavors is a challenge for me, a losing battle much of the time. Often, I make it worse by focusing on what I’ve left undone instead of what I have accomplished. That’s when the rant in my head begins, the name calling on a continuous loop—an endless list of words that help me tear myself down when I haven’t done enough, giving my inner critic the power to make me believe I’m not good enough and never will be.

Many writer friends and I discuss this downward spiral that appears when things get in the way of our work, a bottomless pit that sucks us in and sabotages our work. We talk about ways to shift this destructive pattern. Is the answer trying to get more done? Or is it as simple as a change in our perspective?

How can I better manage my time for working on creative projects with my family responsibilities and social commitments? I have an enthusiasm that just won’t quit for any social project or event that comes my way. It has been a lifelong struggle for me to focus—to discern—to just say “NO!” to these activities that would sidetrack me away from my writing. As with Jane, I have tried any number of tricks and techniques using time management and organizational skills to stay on track. I’m still working on it. And life keeps getting in the way.

If I focus on my inability to get things done, it affects not only my mood, but also my productivity. What might happen if, instead, I focus on my successes? The glass half full argument. As a writer, I can view my own time, money, talent, creativity, clarity, passion and fortitude as scarce or abundant. Sometimes reality and perception is far apart.

The dictionary offers numerous words to argue for the negative point of view. On a bad day I can feel needy, deficient, poor, lacking, wanting, impoverished, indigent, destitute, a pauper. When resources are limited, they are meager, inadequate, insufficient, negligible, scant, exiguous, piddling, measly and paltry. I can see myself as defective, faulty, flawed, inferior, second-rate. It’s appalling. So many words to degrade myself.

In contrast, I can relish in my abundant, plentiful, profuse, copious, ample, rich, lavish, abounding, generous, bountiful, overflowing, prolific, teeming, plenteous, resources galore!

The point is, how I label myself can encourage and support my creative process or discourage my writing. If I become dishearten, I will scare off any hope of success. It really is up to me. My choice is to work daily to change my inner recordings, to let go of the former list in order to instill the latter.

So forgive the exuberance of my own verbosity—words my fourth grade teacher wrote out for me to read the next time my father used a fifty-cent word at the dinner table. He often bated me with an uncommon phrase and my curiosity pushed me to ask its meaning. Instead of simply answering the question, Dad would order me to leave the dinner table to fetch a dictionary (this was back in 1960), read the definition and use the word in a complete sentence. This happened on a regular basis.

Luckily, in spite of Dad’s pranks and my brothers’ teasing, I developed a passion for words. Even though Dad was tough on me, his innate ability to weave a new tale at every family gathering inspired me to write, and still does even though he died before I committed to writing as my life’s work. Memories of my family affects me in ways I didn’t understand until I began to write about them. So, thanks Dad for all the words. I’ll try to put them to good use.

As for finding time to write, I’m learning to be easy on myself when events like Christmas keep me from finding the quiet time I need to be productive. But I’m always working on my stories in my head and scouting out any opportunity to wrangle a few words into a meaningful piece, whether it be a poem, short story, new scene for one of my books, or a blog like this one.

If you’ve made it to the end of this somewhat long rant, maybe you will share a comment on how you manage your time in order to accomplish the things that are important to you.

 

Attending Writers’ Conferences

The ultimate metamorphosis

The ultimate metamorphosis

Attending a Writers’ Conference is fun, educational, and overwhelming. Writing is difficult enough, managing characters, places, descriptions and dialogue, words and ideas all onto pages, then editing, editing editing.  If you’re still in the first draft process, editing or ready for an agent, a conference can help.

Whether you have questions about the process or the business, if you need some enthusiasm to push you to the next level or you’re  in need of  some fellow writers, people who understand the challenges, refusals and rewards of writing to hang out with, then it’s time for you to attend a Writers’ Conference.

They seem to be in every city these days, put on by Writing Programs  associated with Universities (UW Madison, Wisconsin or Ball State in Muncie, Indiana), Literary Magazines (The Sun Magazine) or by enthusiastic members of local writing groups who are just crazy enough to take on such a difficult project and are successful despite the many challenges (Evanston Writer’s Workshop near Chicago).

Conferences offer opportunities to learn from people who have accomplished what we hope to one day.  When I’m at a conference it seems I can never get enough.  Sometimes all the walking and stairs can be too much for my aging muscles. All the new information and faces can be enough to collapse my brain synapses.  Still, I do three conferences a year and would love to do more.

The presentations at the Writers’ Institute (April 11-14, 2013) in Madison were so wonderful, I often wanted to be in two places at once for most of the three days.  How do you choose between Taking Your Writing to the Next Level and Writing for YA?  I ran around like a crazy person, squeezing in as much as I could into every minute, refusing to take a break for fear that I would miss some essential key to unlocking my publishing dream, drinking coffee and snacking on sugary pastries that were free and easily accessible (sweets I usually avoid), taking notes and asking questions, then running down the hall to the next group session or agent presentation, sneaking out (they all expect this) to make one of my six-minute pitch sessions to an agent or an editor.

After three days at the conference, I came home and collapsed for at least that long while all the input simmered, settled and gelled into a form I could put into action. At that point, my work is only beginning. I have promises of pages to fulfill, books to read, edits to make, and blogs to create.

I’ll never forget Judith Engracia saying on the first day of the Writers’ Institute in Madison that she had NO Pet Peeves.  I saw a doubter’s eyebrow crunch on the faces of  the other agents on the panel and heard a muffled gasp from the writers in the room, followed by a silent “Wheee” and a “Yahoo!”  I know, I know. Give her time.  But maybe she is one of those extraordinary individuals who can forgive us our human and writerly foibles. From the six minutes I had with her, I thought she was FABULOUS!

Then, there was Julie Matysik, the amazing editor from Skyhorse Publishing, who talked about all the challenges of working with a first time author.  Tanya Chernov shared amazing details of her journey to write a memoir about her dying father. Her Agent, Gordon Warnock talked about how he first found Tanya, and after 150 queries to publishers, found Julie Matysik and put the two of them together (that detail even surprised Julie!).  After talking about an arduous editing process and problems with a retailer refusing to accept the cover art they’d worked so hard to perfect, Julie Matysik declared in no uncertain terms, that she still loves memoir and is looking forward to finding the next manuscript that moves her to tears like Tanya’s did (that’s not a quote, but the gist of her enthusiastic response).

Right there and then, I crossed my fingers and toes, kissed my four-leaf clover, and made a wish on a falling star that I would be her next project.  From my lips to…you know what I’m saying.  (Sorry for using so many cliches.)

I don’t want to forget to mention the wonderful presentations by agents.  It began with an intense Agents Panel where sometimes they agreed and sometimes they totally disagreed (but always with a pleasant tone).

I was lucky to get into a session (most were packed, with even standing room filled up) by Bree OgdenResearching and Querying Agents.  Bree said it was okay for writers to stalk agents in order to find the right one (agency website, agent’s blog and twitter) and to have the ammunition to convince them we’re the author they’ve been looking for.  But don’t do anything ugly or scary, she cautioned.

For me that means every time I want to query, I need to read blogs, follow on twitter, check out all the helpful how-to articles on the Agency’s website, and read a book or two that Agent has represented or stated it’s what she’s looking for right now.  (Overwhelmed yet?  You ain’t a kidding! But that’s the Biz. Do you still want to be published? Sure you do!)

Also, a note to agents and writers alike. You know how no one wants attachments anymore.  “Put the first twenty pages after the one page query in the body of the email–and be sure it’s double-spaced, to make it easy on our eyes.  We get hundreds a day and we will read the ones that are easier to read and formatted as we have laid out on our website.” (Again, not a direct quote.)

Well, if you own a Mac Computer, you probably know that MAIL application won’t let you double-space, unless you go into the document and do a double return after each line.  If you cut and past a double-spaced document into MAIL, it will reduce it to single-spaced.  I’ve talked to several of the Apple Programmers and they didn’t even notice it.  I’ve requested that they fix it, but who knows how long that will take.  I’m just sayin’, all you agents out there, please take note.  We’re not doing it because we’re lazy or want to make you mad. It’s just that it’s near impossible to accomplish.

April Eberhardt’s presentation with self-pub author, Mary Driver-Thiel regarding her self-published novel THE WORLD UNDONE was packed full of details regarding the new trend in self-publishing by authors.  They talked about HOW TO DO IT RIGHT.  Talk about overwhelm!  It’s hard enough completing a full-length manuscript and then editing it numerous times to have it ready to send out.  Authors need to keep up with all the changes in the industry, research agents, editors (Big Six vs. Midsize vs. Small Publishers) and then weight it against the pros and cons of Self-Publishing.  You’ve got to be kidding me.

Once home, I  needed to make essential changes to my YA manuscript before sending it off, based on what I learned about my story from hearing others talk about theirs.  What to do.  What not to do.  This year, it was adding a pearl I’d forgotten and showing a diamond a bit more often so it can shine throughout, weaving a thread to tie it all together.

Next, I needed to check all the agents’ and editors’ websites to make sure the query and pages I was sending them was formatted correctly. I proofread the query four times to be sure I hadn’t misspelled their name or committed some other grieves “pet peeve.”

The biggest thing that I learned at the Madison Conference (Learned again, I should say, but on a whole new level) is that this is a difficult business.  It takes tons of work, years of time, with no guarantee you’ll ever get published and if you do, there’s no guarantee you’ll ever make a dime.  No matter which way you chose to publish, you’ll still have to do most of your own promotion and maybe even hire a publicist. That could mean big bucks. If you self-pub, you need to pay for editing, line editing, cover art, interior layout, and maybe some help getting it all formatted for the various E-pub distributors as well as the printer.

To be a published author today, you’ve got to love it!  The writing, the community, the business, the marketing, the readers.  And I do.  All of it.  Really.  Even after all that.  I think I love it even more.

So thanks Laurie Scheer for a great conference.  I’m looking forward to next year’s.

imageThe first edition of the Midwest Prairie Review published by UW Madison Continuing Studies Writing Department is gorgeous!  And I’m not just saying that because three of my photographs were selected to be published within its pages.  I’m hoping next year to have an essay or short story included.  Fingers crossed.

Becca, Kathleen and Mary celebrating at the Writers' Institute with me behind the camera.

Becca, Kathleen and Mary celebrating at the Institute with me behind the camera.

Did I mention? The conference Judges gave me a FIRST PAGE Award.  First Prize for Non-Fiction for my memoir DANCE WHILE THE FIRE BURNS.

It’s the best feeling, short of getting an agent, an editor, and launch day, that is.  Stay posted.  Maybe I’ll get there yet.

Catherine and friends swapping stories at the Writers' Institute.

Catherine and friends swapping stories at the Writers’ Institute.

About the overwhelm, what I do to manage it is: I do one thing at a time.  I focus until it’s done and then I figure out what’s next.  One baby step at a time.  It’s a journey.

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LOOSE ENDS

 

 

I’m at loose ends today.

Do you ever have a day like that?

Everything seems to distract me.

I’m focused on wandering.

Moving from thing to thing.

 

I’m thirsty–can’t find my drink cup.

It’s red, with a straw,

Packing tape holds it together.

With a blue cozy on,

Even though it’s insulated.

 

I’ve dropped it it few times.

Why do I expect it to work like new?

Now, the top is hard to screw on.

Sometimes I get it right.

Then it doesn’t spill down my front.

 

It took me twenty minutes to get some tea

Out of the refrigerator because

On the way to the kitchen I remembered

That I needed to move the sprinklers.

 

Every three hours, getting wet in the act.

One in front, one in back

Just to save the shrubs and trees.

They look so sad from the drought.

 

When I pass the bird feeder

I see that it’s empty.

Around the house I go and into the garage

To find the bag of seed half-full.

Don’t forget to put it on the list.

 

As I walk back round, empty bag in hand,

I yank out a few tall weeds

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

That keep the hostas from getting a drink.

The leaves more brown and yellow than green.


Covered in sweat, better get out of this heat.

Don’t forget to grab some tea.

In the broken, red drink cup.

Where did I put it down?

I’m at loose ends today.